Third Foray Into the Mind

Artemis watches the scene, capturing and attempting to reconstruct the sounds and flashes of colour in his mind. It's clear what probably happened here, but he can't quite seem to snatch onto the fluttering figments. Like that moth, fluttering away...

Out of a whim, Artemis takes up where his younger self left off, trying to catch the moth. If it leads nowhere, oh well. It was worth a try.

Another voice pops into your head, still you but not the last you that talked. This one sounds like you but overly formal and perhaps a little condescending.

"Have you any idea how ridiculous you look? I tried to help you at the start, but apparently you thought you knew better." You give that same smarmy chuckle to yourself that you heard when you popped into the park.

"You're a jerk, you know that?" Artemis comments offhandedly as he makes a final swipe at the moth. "I don't like myself as a jerk. I also don't mind looking ridiculous inside my own head. Sure, I'm not too quick on the subtle, but I also don't give up."

He turns and stares at his mother, and thinks back to the first time he heard his own voice in his head, trying to pinpoint the 'hint'. Then he scans the room, his fingers brushing the holopic frame inside his coat pocket, looking for other holo-photos in the house.

The house is filled with dozens of the holopics, each of them showing just you and your mother. In each there's just enough space for a third person who never seems to be there. Each memory, a festival, a dining hall, a school yard, a shopping center, over and over as you remember a new flash of pain flares up in your head as you try to remember something you can't until you pass out from the pain.

You wake up in darkness the only lights shining directly on you and two versions of yourself standing on either side of you.

On your left is you in your normal doctor gear, but with a look of smug superiority on your face. Not quite as tall as you this version looks a bit more effeminate and delicate. In place of your usual glasses are dark shades not really meant to see through. He pushes the shades up a bit higher on his nose and then crosses his arms in disdain looking you over.

On your right you stand in full Jedi robes a lightsaber at your side. He seems to stand a bit taller than you and even through the robes you can see his muscles are far better developed than your own. His eyes are covered by a cloth and his mouth clenched in anger and determination.

Artemis turns his head to study each version of himself. Breathe, in and out, deep and slow. His surprise upon seeing these two versions of himself is quashed beneath a smooth veil of calm.

Breathe. In, and out. The Force is with me. I believe in myself. I believe that I can do this.

"Well," he murmurs. "The two sides of myself," he concludes. His hands fall loosely to his sides. "Very interesting. Greetings." He takes another look over his two selves, this time out of more academic curiosity, before he concludes, "but not necessarily the better aspects of my two sides."

He squints in the light. "Is this where the trail ends? I presume that you are both still going to attempt to stop me. You should help me instead, help me to face whatever happened to me." He looks at his healer self. "It is the only way to heal." Then to his Jedi self, "and it is the only honourable thing to do."

"Honor dictates that I will carry out my orders to my last breath." the Jedi growls at you as he steps away back into the darkness.

"Tell me doctor are those glasses just and affectation? You still seem to have trouble seeing that one of us is trying to help you." Claims your other self as he also steps out of view.

The lights come up and you are back where you started, in the lobby of the hospital.

"This is where the trail begins. Now stop chasing shadows." the voice of the healer fades away with a last bit of advice.

That was unexpected, Artemis thinks after about ten seconds of stunned, motionless silence. Back in the hospital.

And his healer self claiming to want to help him.

...okay. He'd buy that. He could use an ally, and for now he'd trust the healer.

The hospital. Artemis turns around in place, eyes narrowing in thought. Hospitals were places of healing, of recovery. It made sense in that light that this is where he would begin to find his answers. The trouble was he had no idea where to start.

Did I see anything unusual? Anything at all?.

There was STARS, he remembers. His companions being wheeled by on gurneys, suffering from all of the wounds he'd cured them of before. He had no idea how that could possibly be related to his locked memories, but it was better than nothing.

Artemis heads to the operating room.

The operating room is bustling with activity as several doctors stand around Tryce with his chest torn open. Behind a curtain there seems to be a struggle going on and you can hear doctor's yelling, "Restrain her at once! Get me a sedative!"

Oh dear god, Artemis thinks, taking in the scene and the shouts, Tryce, and that will have to be Freya.

No time for hesitation. One look at Tryce will tell him if he's stable or dying, and if the doctors have things in control. If the doctors have him handled, Artemis will grab a tranquilizer and head towards what he assumes is Freya.

If Tryce is not stable, or if he's already dead and beyond all possible hope for rescuing, he'll use whatever time he has to stabilize him with the Force. Dying people are the priority here.

Tryce seems to be stabilized and the doctor's are doing an expert job operating on him.

Past the curtain you inject Freya as you did before and the doctor's and nurses get her onto a bed with restraints.

With that situation under control, Artemis will turn his focus to examining the room and its occupants, doctors and patients alike, more closely. Is this scene just a distraction, yet another mask to hide the sickness beneath? Or is it a hint towards the path he's supposed to be following?

If he sees nothing out of the ordinary, with either his regular senses or the Force, he'll continue to explore the area.

Nothing of any note presents itself to any of your senses.

Is there a sanitarium section of the hospital? A mental ward? If so, he'll head there next.

Heading up a few flights you begin exploring the sanitarium. Things are a bit calmer here, but also a bit more eerie. You see more copies of yourself then you can keep track of many in varying degrees of straight jackets and restraints. You also see a Freya here in full Hannibal Lector restraints.

Artemis stares at Freya for a moment, wondering why the hell she's so prevalent in his mind. She doesn't get on his nerves that much, does she? Then again, it is Freya after all.

Artemis will continue through the ward to see if he can find some in-patient records. It's not going to be that easy, he knows, but at least it's a start. Maybe he'll find a lead. He will also keep a wary eye out for doctors in case anyone has the bright idea to put him in a straight jacket like the other copies of himself.

The other doctors don't seem to pay you any mind as you wander through to the records. Bringing up files you see most of them are for parts of your personality you do tend to keep in check along with a diagnosis of why you feel they should be under watch. All of the files seem to be signed by you and you tend to agree with your own evaluations such as why don't like to let anger out much. There are also some files on people you know in your life and evaluations on them, so you think you could find any given member of STARS here and some worst case version of them here.

"Well, that's not very helpful," Artemis mutters. "I'm looking for information that I don't know, not things that I already am aware of." He taps the records on the edge of the filing cabinet for a moment, thinking. There might still be something here in the mental ward. He's not willing to discount that idea. But everything he's seen here thus far is trapped and contained.

What he's looking for is not even supposed to exist anymore.

Artemis decides to check the morgue.

As you head down to the very bottom floor of the hospital the number of people you encounter in your mind becomes less and less. There in the basement no one is present and the only door in a very long hallway is marked MORGUE.

As you walk down the hallway towards the morgue you realize you're getting nowhere and no matter how much distance you cover or how fast you run the morgue is always the same distance ahead of you.

All right, pretty sure this isn't it either, but what the hell.

Artemis doesn't try to pull any tricks this time, going into the room. Instead he pulls up a chair and a cup a tea and goes to sit facing the Jedi.

"Okay, fine. I'm not getting through that door. But I don't understand why you're so hell-bent on guarding what's behind there." He points at the door. "You're the honourable warrior in me. Why would you take orders from the person that I used to be? Why these orders?"

"To see to it that you become a better person. Either a stronger warrior, or one fit to carry this burden. So far you have proven to me you are neither."

"Now you tell me, you once believed that these memories were so damaging they had to be locked away. What makes you believe you won't become worse when the flood of pain comes rushing back to you?"

Artemis looks thoughtfully up at his other self. "The possibility has occurred to me, of course," he begins. "But I believe in myself. I believe I'm strong enough, mentally, to overcome whatever happened to me. I'll explain why."

"When I locked away my memories, I was someone who had not faced what he had done. I was running and I was full of fear. I was running from those who wanted justice, and I was running from myself: two things I was too much of a coward to face. But now I've faced the first one. I went without a fight to what I fully expected to be justice. That taught me something about honour and courage and doing what is right. But I still haven't faced whatever in me was responsible for the Vox Virus. Whatever is back there still needs to be brought to its knees.

"I believe I can overcome whatever is hidden back there because I am not the type of person who runs from his problems anymore. I trust in the Force, and I know that this is the only justice for my own mind. I also know that I can beat whatever is back there because I am not afraid." Artemis points at the Jedi. "You are a part of me. Your strength is my strength. Everything in here is an aspect of me, and so are you. The mere fact of your existence speaks to that truth. I will not leave until I face my father. And I will die before I allow him to take control over me again."

"Let's get one thing clear. You didn't exactly turn yourself in doctor." He says the word doctor like he's spitting it out. "You were forced into that situation, and only then did you resign yourself to that fate. You want to talk about honor and courage with me, then let's see you do that when you aren't being put in Mandalorian manacles and dragged to Aretak."

"Your belief is strong, but belief alone is not enough to destroy the demons we've locked away. This isn't some saturday morning holo-toon where if you just believe in yourself everything will turn out alright. If you cannot find a way past me, then you are certainly not ready for what lies beyond that door."

"I can't go back and undo what happened," Artemis snaps. "I would rather have gone willingly and not forced, but the coward I was back then didn't do it. I'm not that person anymore. But rather than sit and bemoan it, I need to move on and do the right thing from now on."

He stands up and pushes the chair away. "I cannot defeat you in physical combat. Anything I try simply results in you killing me. So I can either talk you out of this or prove that I'm fit to carry the burden, as you say. Talk, like you said, means nothing. Words are just words.

"How about this. You aren't afraid of death. Well, neither am I. There has to be a failsafe for my systems in here. Something to kill me--truly kill me--if necessary. I suggest that you take up guard wherever that is. Pull the plug if I fail to master what's beyond that door. Either I come to terms with what I am and overcome it, or I die trying. That's what I want."

"The only failsafes are the ones to get you in that door, and the ones to keep you out. They are both here in this room right now. You and me. I'm just an aspect of you given presence on this plane of existence. I can't kill you should what's beyond that door take over. You can't simply remove a bad memory the same way you remove a failing organ. This is territory you should have never tread alone. Even the book warned you about that. What you want is not longer relevant, this is what your "treatment has wrought."

Is it possible for Artemis to absorb other aspects of himself--the ones in his mind--into himself? Or to switch his consciousness into another one of these aspects? Or, since he's in his own mind, use affect mind on himself to accomplish the same thing?